Contradiction

The impossible thing about me
is that I am made entirely of opposites.

I want to be understood
without being exposed.

I crave intimacy
while fearing dependence.

I love deeply,
yet spend half my life
planning emotional escape routes.

Somewhere along the way,
survival taught me
that vulnerability and danger
often arrive wearing the same face.

So now I stand at the edge of connection,
wanting desperately to jump
and desperately to run.

And maybe that's the real tragedy.

Not that I've been hurt.

But that I've become a battlefield
where tenderness and self-preservation
fight for territory every day.

-𝕃ℝ 🖤 

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